“It’s just a season” is a phrase that comes up weekly for my friends and I. It’s a phrase that carries a lot of weight, it has multiple impactful meanings. In one regard, it’s meant to give you a sigh of relief, “It’s just a season! You can do this, and this too shall pass.” Or, it can give you a nice pep talk, or inspiration to stop, dig in and choose joy in the season you’re in. I’d imagine that no matter where you are in life, a soaring career, small children at home, going through transition, an unwanted divorce or seeking your soul mate, it really applies to us all.

This too shall pass. This is another phrase that I use a lot. It’s usually when you’re in a frustrating or hard situation, because, it’s just true, it WILL pass. You may be suffering a loss, heart-broken, just exhausted or tired, and the truth is, this season will pass. One day you’ll look up and your kids are taking care of themselves. One day you’ll look up and be happy again. One day you’ll look up and find your partner or the spouse you’ve been praying for. One day you’ll look up and see your prodigal son or daughter come home. The fact is, that this season will be over before you even realize it. So in the moment, find RELIEF, find solace, find peace in the fact that this WILL make you stronger. This waiting will make you the wife, mother, boss babe, you’ve always wanted to be, it’s just a part of the process of becoming that woman you’ve always dreamt of becoming or admired. So even when it’s hard, just remember, this too shall pass. It just a season and before you know it, you’ll be in a new one. So learn all you can learn. Feel all you can feel. Stop and soak up those moments of longing, waiting or exhaustion because it won’t be here for long.

Choose JOY, because if you don’t, you’ll look up one day and realize you missed it all. You missed the season because you spent your time being anxious, dreaming about the next phases of life, being disappointed for where you are or keeping so busy that you miss it all together. A friend recently shared this on social media and it was so what I needed to hear, “God is not in a hurry. You are. It’s why you are tired. It’s why you are anxious, stressed and disappointed. Today, I pray you surrender your timeline in favor or His peace.” No matter what season you’re in, and we’re all in one, choose today to CHOOSE joy.

And listen, I don’t mean let’s all choose to ignore our stress, our anxious thoughts or choose more wine (which let’s face it, does bring lots of temporary happiness), but I mean choose JOY. Choosing joy in each and every season means choosing to embrace the season for what it is. For me, it’s choosing to work less so I can be more present for my child. That sounds super simple and like, oh yes, great choice Carol. But it’s HARD. I’m a 3 in the enneagram scale so I basically find meaning by working and accomplishment. So for me not to choose work and choose to be present for Kennedy while she’s young is for real a struggle. And listen, working moms, that’s not a knock on you, I see you and know you all and see you rocking it all. I truly believe God calls some of us back to work, some of us home, and some of us to do it all! So instead of waking up and being frustrated or tired or spending each day looking for the next, let’s today choose to embrace THIS season. For me, I’m going to ask God what HE wants from me in this season. I’m going to try and resist the urge to be busy or discontent and lean into the season God has me in, because I know if I don’t, I’ll look up and it will be over.

So ladies, today let’s stop and pray that God helps us to embrace the season we’re in, choose joy in this season, and decide to ABIDE in Him so He can show us all the amazing things He has for us in this season. I truly believe every season we’re in is God preparing us for the next. Get excited because God never wastes a hurt, He always keeps His promises, His timing is ALWAYS better than our own, His plans are better than our plans (I have to remind my control-freak self that daily), and He IS preparing us for great things ahead.

 

Having kids gives you a whole new perspective on how God must view us as His children. I got a large dose of this one day when Kennedy was a little bit younger (she couldn’t really talk yet). I, like the amazing mom I am, decided to make Kennedy some delicious waffles. I put extra butter on them (bc I vicariously live through the food I allow my child to eat), and then doused them with syrup. I couldn’t wait to see her face as she tasted this ridiculously perfect breakfast. But, as most things in life, it didn’t turn out as planned.

I told Kennedy to sit down, set down the waffles in front of her, and looked at her with anticipation. She looked at it one time, and shook her head, “No.” Then, she proceeded to walk to the fridge, open the door, and pull out some tupperware with old steak in it. She became fixated with this tupperware and refused my delicious waffles. I said to her, “Kennedy, this is SO much better than what’s in that tupperware! I know you so well, and I know what’s best for you, and WAFFLES are what’s best for you. EAT. THE. WAFFLES.” But, not to my surprise, she refused again. It was in that moment that I realized, this must be how God looks at us as His children.

The grasping. We grasp on to things we think are better for us. We make plans and think we know the best plan for our lives, and think, if God would just work it out the way we plan, then everything would be great. We, like little children, grasp on to the tupperware full of old steak when there’s a steaming hot plate of buttery waffles waiting for us. We try and control or manipulate our situation in order to accomplish our own goals instead of surrendering it to our Heavenly Father who loves us and wants an abundant, beautiful, life for us. How many times in my life have I tried to grasp on to something I knew wasn’t good for me? I remember times when I tried to manipulate a job opportunity, a relationship, a move, and at the end of the day, they all failed because I never surrendered it all over to my good, good Father. He had a perfect plan for me, and I would have saved myself a lot of pain if I’d only trusted Him with my life.

Trust. Really, what it all comes down is, Trust. If we truly believe that He is a good Father, and His will is always better than anything we could ever plan, then why is it so hard to let go and let God? It’s like the story of the fake pearls that I love to tell. A father gave his daughter a strand of fake pearls. It was her most prized possession and she wore them everywhere. One day, he came to her and asked her if she loved him. She, of course, responded, “Yes, Daddy! You know I love you.” He said, “Do you love me and trust me enough to give me your pearls?” And she immediately replied, “Why would you ask that of me? You know how much I love them.” He told her okay, and kissed her goodnight. Later that night after she thought about how much she loved her daddy, she approached his room. She entered and handed him the pearls. She told her daddy that she loved him more than the pearls. He replied, “I’m so glad you said that, because I have something even better for you. He opened his drawer, pulled out a box and handed it to her. She opened it and saw a REAL strand of pearls. These pearls were more beautiful than she’d ever seen. The moral of the story is much like the old steak story. We grasp on to things we think are better, but God ALWAYS has a plan for His children, and His plans are ALWAYS better than our plans. He, like a good dad, is waiting for us to surrender those things, even if we have to do it everyday, and trust Him because He wants an abundant life for you here on earth too. He wants good things for you and me, and sometimes it’s just hard to see based on our circumstances. So, let’s stop settling for those fake pearls and old steak, and start trusting that God has some real bling for us if we’d only let go and led Him lead us.

The Waiting. Now, this concept sounds great and all, until the waiting starts. The waiting is ALWAYS the hardest and let’s face it, the waiting sucks. (Sorry mom, she hates that word). All throughout Scripture God asks us to wait, and I think it’s just so that we are dependent on Him to accomplish these things instead of in our own effort.

The waiting can cause us to freak out, try and control or manipulate again, or lose hope. But, God wants to remind us that He will redeem it, and even though His timing isn’t always our timing (it never is, is it?) and He has something so much better for us than we could ever ask or even imagine. So while the waiting is hard, keep reminding yourself of these things everyday, giving it back over to Him. I had to wait for a lot of good things in my life, for Daniel (after years of dating and everyone else getting engaged before me) and

 

for Daniel and I, waiting years for Kennedy was totally worth it in the end, we just couldn’t see it amidst our grasping, our waiting, and our loss. So, stay strong, friend, during the waiting. It’s only a matter of time before we’re waiting again for the next thing. God has an amazing plan, far better than we could ask or think, we just have to lean in during the waiting and remind ourselves that He’s a good Dad, He loves us, and He has an amazing set of real pearls and buttery waffles ahead.

Side note: Thanks John, for telling me I should turn this story into a blog 🙂 And to Nathalie, who was just there 😉 Love you guys.

 

“Scripture says, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it’s given Him from heaven.” If you could understand that one biblical truth it would change your life forever. The way we say it around here is this, “You can’t give me what God has not, and you can’t keep me from what God has.” If we would actually begin to believe that at a soul-level, that everything we have is from Him, there would be no jealousy, no co-dependence, no comparing, no complaining, no envy, and no coveting. It would free you up to rejoice when others are blessed. It would bring you freedom in so many ways. If we truly believed this, that would be called PEACE.” – Pastor Joby Martin (I know I quote him a lot, but the man has a freakin’ gift of saying things in a way I’ve never heard before.)

So if we believe the above to be true, if we believe what the Bible says, then why is it so hard to live with a grateful heart? I’ll tell you why: our culture and our selfish, wandering hearts (ouch!) We are blessed to live in the United States, where consumption is key, and everything our little hearts could desire is literally at the click of a button. Our culture is constantly telling us that what we have isn’t enough, and that we have to compete with the Jones’, the Smith’s, and the well, whoever else. Our culture or the smart marketing geniuses in retail, set it up so that right when we get an upgrade, a newer version comes out making us feel like what we now have is crap. We live in a culture where we compare ourselves and what we have to everyone else constantly, and most of the time we’re comparing it all to a highlight reel or an airbrushed version of someone else. All of these things are against us, and making it very hard to live with a grateful heart.

I think one of the enemy’s favorite schemes for us westerners is helping us be constantly discontent. If you’re like me, your heart is prone to wander away from the only real source of life. God must look at me like a little toddler, “Oh Carol, that again? She’ll never learn.” (His head shaking with a smirk on his face). THANK YOU, GOD, FOR GRACE, and that He never lets me wander too far over the cliff. 

The truth is that if we’ve truly experienced the grace of God on our lives, if we truly have experienced the free gift of grace when we didn’t deserve it, and the gift that keeps giving every single morning, then we can choose to look at our lives, all that He has given us, and live with a posture of gratitude. This is something I’ll always struggle with, but I have a few things that always help me:

Remind yourself that that “thing” you want so badly will not satisfy like you think it will. Another “Joby-ism” I like to call it is, “the cul-de-sac of stupidity.” Basically what it means is that we, as humans, go round and round in this cul-de-sac, thinking that the next thing will fully and finally satisfy, only to realize once again, it doesn’t. We want a raise, if only we could get this much more, then when you do, you find yourself there again pretty quickly. If only you could get a house in that neighborhood, a few years go by and that house just isn’t cutting it. Now you want a new house in the other neighborhood. The list goes on and on. So for me, I have to remind myself, that “thing” I think I want so badly, just will NOT finally and fully satisfy like I think it will. So, I’m honest with God about it, and give that desire up to Him, even if I have to do it every day.

Make a gratitude list. I stole this idea from our pastor. He said to make a gratitude list, one thing for every year you’ve been alive. Keep it on your phone, and anytime you start to feel entitled instead of grateful, read your list. I’ve now made several lists, and anytime I’m feeling like I’m owed something I don’t have or caught up in comparing or wanting something someone else has, I stop and read over my list, thanking God. He didn’t have to give me all that I have now, so what makes me think I’m owed something I may feel is better? He knows what’s best for us, and I have to trust in that. And when I read my list, and think of all the blessings in my life, I can’t help but kick myself for feeling anything other than grateful. 

Each morning when I start out my prayer, I try and start with thankfulness for all He’s given me. I feel like something supernatural happens when you start out prayer with thankfulness. It’s like it ushers you into the presence of God in a way starting out with requests or to-do’s just doesn’t do. And then, on those days you don’t even know what to pray, start out with thanking God and somehow you start to feel and hear Him. I think the power of starting our prayer with thanking Him is that it helps posture our hearts from feeling entitled or frustrated, to grateful and reverent.

Contentment is a secret that’s actually offered in Scripture. Paul says in Philippians that he’s learned the secret. Which means, he wants us to learn it too. And I think the secret is to preach the Gospel to yourself every day. Thank God everyday for your gratitude list. And, most importantly, abide in Jesus, or simply put, stay close to Him. Bring those desires to Him, and He’ll either bless you with what you’re wanting, or through prayer it will purify your desire for that thing. I’ve literally been praying of something and talked myself out of it during the prayer. I think when we stay close to Him, it helps us see life in view of eternity and not get caught up in the worldly stuff (as much). I’m going to CHOOSE each day to be grateful for everything He’s given me, from Daniel and Kennedy to our home and our jobs. I didn’t deserve any of the things I have today, so I’ll choose to live joyfully grateful for all of it. Or when my coveting starts to creep in as I’m watching HGTV, I’ll remind myself of what I actually deserved and how blessed I really am. 

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:12 

So, whenever I write about something it’s usually because it’s something I’m struggling with too! Help hold me accountable, and I’ll be praying for all of you as well! Let’s be the generation of strong women who live with grateful hearts.

I woke up feeling defeated. My circumstances felt out of order and chaotic. I felt inadequate, insecure and well, down. It took me leaning in to Jesus, when I certainly didn’t feel like it, to realize we have a very real enemy. In this world we’re so distracted by our schedules, our jobs, our kids, or our Netflix marathon that we forget there’s a real enemy that wants to kill, steal and destroy. I don’t know about you, ladies, but it always seems to surprise me when things are going great, we’re drawing closer to Him, we’re taking steps of obedience, and then BAM, somehow everything starts to go wrong. You would think I would learn by now that our enemy doesn’t want us walking in humble confidence in God. He doesn’t want us finding joy in our circumstances no matter what they are. He doesn’t want us to find joy in obedience to God’s unique calling on our lives. Things are going great in your marriage, your workplace, your social life and then the whispers and lies seem to enter in to your mind. You look up and problems seem to be all around. Shouldn’t things be getting easier given our new commitment to live out God’s plan for our lives?!

I heard at a conference last year that God has a unique, God-sized dream for us all, and we have a very real enemy that doesn’t want us to walk it out. The enemy will steal our joy so that we take ourselves out of the game. Have you ever heard of the whispers? They start creeping in causing insecurity, condemnation and resentment. Where did these feelings come from?!

The joy stealer steps in. Now listen, I’m not the kind of person that thinks every hardship is an attack. I’m pretty practical, so sometimes even recognizing the attack comes way after I’m already feeling well-defeated. But once again, during a time of recommitment to putting Him before all things, I felt the pushback. We had an insanely busy holiday season (like every other adult with kids and jobs) and after our birthdays and such, Lent was a perfect time to reposition our hearts. We had some major goals during Lent, but most importantly it was to focus on Him first again, our marriage and raising our tiny human. I’d been overwhelmed with life and all the demands, so I needed to step back and focus on what mattered. Things were going great for about a minute and then the proverbial crap hit the fan. My marriage seemed to be in a major pit, we had a distance between us like the grand canyon (ok, I might be exaggerating that, but at the time it feels epic), resentment and insecurity started creeping into both of our minds. The enemy was using our circumstances to create wedges. He was stealing my joy from taking steps of obedience and filling me with sadness, discontentment, even jealousy for my friends who were flourishing in new careers. Why would I feel this way when I was taking steps to fulfill my own dream? Our enemy doesn’t want us living out of abundance in Him. I truly believe we can get ourselves into these kinds of messes (which I do often), but I also think it’s naive to dismiss actual, spiritual warfare. Every time things are going great, big moves of God are on the horizon, we’ve actually been praying hard for something, our world starts to crumble (or feels that way).

Newsflash, battles are hard. Battles are to be fought by warriors. They don’t call it Spiritual Warfare for nothing. Our battle is hard, but the battle is HIS. Now, as women, we don’t have to get up and start making a to-do list of how to win this battle. We need to stop, BE STILL (which I’ve realized is painful for me to do, I don’t even like being in the car without distraction), and get in prayer, prayer allows us to take the fight to God and allows Him to fight for us.

Did you know that we’re POWERFUL?! Luke 10:9 says, “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.”  We literally have the power to rebuke demons (Say what?!!) So get on your face, lift it up to God, those fears, that condemnation, those insecurities, those problems, and allow God to get in this fight because He is fighting from victory, not for victory. Rebuke the enemy in Jesus’ name! I’ve literally said it out loud before, he has no place in my home, my marriage, my family, or my mind. Now at times this feels silly. We live in a practical world where angels and demons seem more like a new series on Hulu than a reality, but believe me, there are times you need to speak out of the Holy Spirit within you and rebuke the enemy trying to steal your joy, rebuke the enemy trying to derail your marriage, rebuke the enemy trying to send you into depression. If you believe Scripture to be true, and I do, then saying those words, rebuking his feeble lies, than he HAS to FLEE. That’s right, you command demons to flee your life, your mind, your marriage, your home, and they literally have to. I don’t know about y’all but that gives me a freaking She-Ra feeling like never before!

We’re a little over half-way through Lent now, and many of us are trying to draw closer to Jesus or take next steps of faith in obedience towards that next thing God is calling us to do. Realize there is an enemy that wants you to fail. Just as it’s exhilarating to hear from God and take steps of obedience, don’t forget it’ won’t always be easy. So put on the full armor of God, preach the Gospel to yourself, and remind yourself that in Him you are more than a conqueror. Remind yourself that you fight from victory and not for it. Remind yourself you have a good, good Father who loves you and has an abundant life for you. Don’t settle for the lies. Don’t settle for the mundane. Pick yourself up off the floor and keep praying that prayer you’ve prayed for months and years now. I heard recently that it doesn’t matter the amount of faith you have, but who your faith is in. Our faith isn’t in our own weaknesses, our own inadequacies and short-comings, our faith is in God, the all-powerful King of the Universe. Keep up the good fight ladies, and remember He gives you enough strength and grace every single day, and with that, He also promises REST. 

I’ll end with this because it came on when I was writing this blog and I can’t help but think the Holy Spirit was using Carrie Underwood and Ludacris’ words to strengthen me in that moment – the Lord works in mysterious ways 😉

I am invincible, unbreakable
Unstoppable, unshakeable
They knock me down, I get up again
I am the champion
You’re gonna know my name
You can’t hurt me now
I can’t feel the pain
I was made for this, yeah, I was born to win
I am the champion. 

Because IN HIM, we are enough. In Him, we’re more than conquerors, and He who is in us is greater than he who is in this world. We are champions. We know how this story ends, and we’re on the winning side. I refuse to allow the enemy to derail any of the plans God has called me to or any of the blessings in my life. My prayer is that God uses this to speak life into even just ONE person who’s under attack or one person who’s allowed their circumstances to overtake them. I pray God speaks life into just ONE person that is feeling defeated or depressed, insecure or inadequate. See the attack for what it is and realize we have the power that has already defeated it.