Let’s face it, there are many times and many situations that can put you in the bitter and resentful category as wives and mothers. It’s a hard business we live in every day. There are MANY demands and very little mommy recharging time. The posts that make me laugh most these days are the ones where the husband is tired so he just gets up and goes to bed. The wife is tired so she does the 37 things she has to do to get everyone and the house ready for bed…THEN she lays down only to go over her to-do list in her head. This. is. my. life.
With all that being said, it’s super easy to live in the bitter or resentful world when you feel the demand for your time and attention is high, and you’re, well, tapped out. Now there’s a whole other blog where I could talk about the ways your family needs to step up their game, but instead let’s focus on something more realistic (see what I did there), and talk about what we can control….our attitude.
It’s November now, which to me means HOLIDAYS, but to most, it means Thanksgiving, which leads to being thankful. I think living in gratitude is something I should try and do all of the time, but November is a great reminder.
I don’t have to; I get to. I heard recently on someone’s social that changing your wording (even if just to yourself) changes your perspective. Instead of, “I have to give both kids a bath and put them down.” It’s “I GET to give both kids a bath and put them down.” Now, the skeptic in me wants to hate this cheesy idea, but the more I thought about it, and while up with my 4 month old at 3am, I said it to myself, and it truly did make me grateful instead of annoyed. I GET to rock him to sleep because there are so many women without babies yet who long to be a mommy, and here I am rocking my second rainbow baby to sleep. “I GET to get up and go to work today when there are so many women who long for a career they love.” Mind blown.
Gratitude List. Each year I talk about this. Our Pastor had us write out things we are thankful for, one for every year you have been alive, and keep it somewhere you can see it often. Any time you feel the need to be resentful or bitter or angry, pull it out and read it. Believe me, it helps. Maybe follow along with the social craze and do one thing you are thankful for each day this month.
Best way to approach Jesus. There are many times in my life, ESPECIALLY when I make myself too busy, where I feel distant from the Lord. Like a friend reluctant to reach out because the guilt has built up and it’s been too long, I am reluctant to approach Jesus. BUT, I find for me, when I don’t know what to say or I feel distant, the best way to step into His presence is with gratitude. It sort of starts off the conversation and all of a sudden, things aren’t awkward at all. He is there (He was always there), and you are talking. And this is a whole other blog, but start saying NO to the busy so you can say yes to time with Jesus. He’s our only true source of peace, and as wives or moms, we NEED it.
PRAYER. If you live life in view of the Gospel, then we HAVE to live life in gratitude because we don’t really deserve any of this do we? If we truly believe His grace is new every single morning, then we ought to wake up with gratitude just in general! I know, I know. It’s not that easy when there are multiple kids crying, a boss that texting, a husband who lost his shoes (that are probably right behind that other pair he’s staring at), etc. But the best way to change my perspective when I’m feeling resentful or overwhelmed is to stop and pray. I don’t mean add another thing to your list, I just mean stop and say a quick prayer for God to change your attitude. God meets us where we are, even in tough or busy seasons. He knows what you need and He doesn’t need a dissertation from you to give it to you. All you need to do is ASK. “God, change my heart. Help me to be grateful and joyful so that others in my home will feel it and be joyful too!” BAM. Obviously it doesn’t happen over night, and you may have to ask everyday. But I believe he changes our hearts and perspectives and a result is a happier family over all.
As always, preaching this to myself because one, I’ve made myself too busy lately, causing me to be more tired, and therefore more bitter and resentful, and also because I needed the gratitude reminder. Praying this helps anyone who’s reading to have a heart shift so much that their family follows! Love you all.