Be intentional. In a world full of constant distractions, constant stimulations and living in a country where “busy” means successful, we have to be intentional about how we spend our time. I’ve decided that intentionality is everything.
When I start to get overwhelmed with the demands of life, adulthood, (which is often) I realize I’m not being intentional about the things in this life that fill me up instead of drain me down. If I’m not careful, I’m on the floor crying with a glass of wine in-hand because I just can’t handle one more request (toddlers really have it great, don’t they? There are so many times I would throw a fit if it were socially allowed). So, as I started praying through things I need to take off my plate, say NO to instead of one more thing, God laid something things on my heart about how I am spending my time each week. Here’s some things I think are crucial for us to stop and be intentional about, especially as women (aka. multi-taskers), wives, mommies, workers, etc.
Be intentional about prayer. You have a direct connection to the God of the universe who has the power to move mountains, yet loves YOU fiercely. It’s not enough to just know who God is. You want to know Him, have an intimate relationship with Him, and you can’t do that unless you talk to Him. We have a million demands on us and wear a million hats as women. We often feel we aren’t enough, that we cannot be all we need to be as a wives, moms, daughters, workers. Our failures in those roles seem to be overwhelming if we let ourselves think about it too much (or at night when trying to fall asleep). But, we ARE enough in Him. He makes His power perfect in our weakness and we will be better mom’s, wives, workers when we are depending on Him instead of on our own effort. A pastor at our church, Ryan Britt, said, “We need God like we need air, and prayer is spiritual breathing.” I loved that because it just shows you how essential prayer is in our lives. We need it to tap into the power of the ALMIGHTY GOD who literally lives within us. We don’t HAVE to be enough or do anything on our own because we have the God of the Universe giving us the strength to kick-A at all of the things He has called us to do and be. So, instead of venting to our husband or friends about it all, let’s stop and pray.
Be intentionally present. I am especially guilty of this. A large part of my job is managing like 10 social media accounts so I am CONSTANTLY on my phone. And in a world full of constant distractions and instant gratifications, in a world where I LITERALLY hate driving in the car without a distraction because I hate to be in my own head, it’s imperative that we stop, put the phone down, and be present.My pastor just said this past weekend, do you know how many prayers (or time we aren’t being present with God, our family, our friends, etc.) probably aren’t happening anymore because every time there is some dead space in our day we pick up our (stupid) phones? Wow. Guilty! (insert hand-raising emoji) Also, while we’re at it, at the end of the day, isn’t it more important to play with and listen to our kids talk about their day than get that last load of laundry done? Or in my case, stop doing the dishes and “Dance, mommy! Dance!” when any fun song comes on the TV. On a side note, I am REALLY glad we aren’t on a reality TV show because there are moments where I”m like, if only people could see how ridiculous we look right now as I tell Kennedy to shake her booty (while demonstrating).
Be intentional about intimacy. There’s never a good time for well, let’s call it “intimate time” with your spouse. With the demands of work, kids, making your home an oasis, loving your husband, well, probably falls the bottom of the priority list. There have been times where I’m literally going to scream if one more person asks something of me. BUT, at the end of the day (the very stressful day), Daniel is the most important person to me, and therefore I want him to feel SO loved by me. I’m not saying I’ve got this one down yet, but I’m working on it. I’m working on getting over my stress or to-do list and be more intentional about this for my husband. Because at the end of the day, I actually enjoy it, AND him feeling loved makes a lot of things in my life easier too 😉
Be intentional about celebrating, not comparing. We as women are EXPERTS at comparing ourselves to other women. I mean, let’s be honest, don’t we usually get dressed up so that other women think we look cute instead of any guy thinking we look hot? We make the best, homemade dessert so that the other moms think we are great moms. We workout because we saw her checkin at the gym on Facebook…again. But what if we stopped worrying about what others think of us, and just celebrate other people in their successes. Instead of seeing other people’s gifts and feeling insecure because it’s not your gift, let’s choose to celebrate one another and stop comparing. You are exactly the person God chose to be your child’s mom, your parent’s child, your boss’s subordinate, or your husband’s wife. We all have different strengths, so stop focusing on your weaknesses or the areas you are lacking, ain’t nobody got time for that. Pray and find out what makes you you, and be YOU. Authenticity liberates you to love others with an unbridled kind of love. Maybe start with telling other women when you notice awesome things you admire about them. Oftentimes our feelings actually do catch up with our words and actions. Choose to celebrate instead of compare.
Be intentional about caring for YOU. It’s our tendency as women, mom’s and wives to give and give and give. We are caregivers and nurturers. And amen that God made us that way. But also, it’s very important that we are taking the time to rest or in other words, treat yoself. Don’t you think you husband will be happier if you are happier? Don’t you think your kids will respect you more if you are more yourself? I think Kennedy will always feel loved, but will also respect and have a role model when she sees me doing the things that also fuel me. It’s like the saying goes, if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. So for the sake of loving those around you well, take time to love yourself too. What fuels you? What rejuvenates you or brings you rest? Is it taking time for a girls night? Is it going to lunch with that one friend you can be totally yourself with? Is it getting your nails done or making time to get to the gym? Whatever it is, make the time to do it because your family will be better for it too.
Let’s all embark on this intentional journey together! Happy belated Mother’s Day to all of the amazing and beautiful women out there!